One Last Nod, and Then I'm Moving On

There have only been two times when I have deleted blogs. One was in April 2008, and one was tonight. Both times it was for people who's friendships I valued very much, people whom I loved with all of my heart and soul, people I thought would never ever hurt me. Both people chose to end our friendships without asking me, and both of them I will always care for, very very deeply.

It was asked of me, how I could blog about everything, putting it out there on the world wide web. Well, there's a few things... One- my mom's always said don't do something you don't want other people to know. Now, I know I'm not perfect at this, but if you told someone what I did, if I was called on it, I'd accept responsibility, apologize, and do what I could to fix it- hence the deletion of the blogs. Two- how else will I know that someone is witnessing my life? I don't trash or bash people on my blog, I simply, HONESTLY talk about how I am feeling. And HONESTLY, those two people managed to break my heart- each of them- and my soul, within weeks of each other last year.

If my words were read before I expressed them to the offenders, then I apologize for any unintentional hurt, but the way the friendship was terminated, I am simply not strong enough to let my guard down and talk candidly.

I would say "I'm sorry," but really, I feel that it is these two people who owe me the apology.

My Immortal ~ Evanescence

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used the captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face, it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me