Anticipation

A lot of people are writing a lot of "summary" blogs for 2009, and usually I'm one of them, but I'm not going to do that this year. This year holds a lot of anticipation...

Directly, as in TODAY, the anticipation is hearing back from the property manager about signing papers and getting keys to the house today... while I hate moving, I don't think I've ever been so stinkin' excited to get the heck out of a place!

Then there's the whole-anticipation of living in a new house/neighborhood... and a higher rent payment... and still no furnature... and maintaining a yard... and all of that underlying "ahhh".

And, of course there's the anticipation of going back to Spain in May, flying internationally, possibly going to Morocco, and hoping we all get home safely... and how Stanley will be with me gone for 10 days...

There's a lot coming up with 2010. I don't know if it's good or bad anticipation, becuase it all adds stress that I don't want to have to deal with, but I am feeling positive about where I stand on this last day of 2009. I have survived a decade in the new millenium! And if you're reading this, so have you! :-P

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update- - - I get the keys tomorrow morning, 9am!!!

My Only Man of the Hour

I've been meaning to post these lyrics a little while ago- When I first got Stanley I was SOOO nervous about owning a "Pit Bull", especially because a guy at work would always tell me horrificly bloody stories about them. The second day I had my little guy, I got the new Norah Jones CD, The Fall, and it had a fabulous song that I SWEAR was written just for me, in that moment. (although I'm not trying to choose between a vegan/pot head) Now, it's pretty bluesy, relaxed, authentic bluesy, not her usual mellow/modern spin on blues. I absolutely ♥ it.

Norah Jones- Man of the Hour
It’s him or me
That’s what he said
But I can’t choose
Between a vegan and a pot head
So I chose you, because you’re sweet and you give me lots of lovin’ and you eat meat
And that’s how you became
My only man of the hour

You never lie
And you don’t cheat
And you don’t have any baggage tied to your forefeet
Do I deserve, to be the one, who will feed you breakfast, lunch, and dinner and take you to the park at dawn
Will you really
My only man of the hour

I know you’ll never bring me flowers
Flowers they will only die
And though you’ll never take a shower togetherI know you’ll never make me cry

You never argue
You don’t even talk
And I like the way you let me lead you when we go outside and walk
Will you really be
My only man of the hour?

There's another song that I also love... Dogs are just so wonderful! I saw a car magnet at Petco that I'd like to get, it's an outlined paw print that says "Who Saved Who?"... and it's SOOO TRUE for me & Stanley!

Nellie McKay- The Dog Song
I'm just a walkin' my dog
Singin' my song
Strollin' along
Yeah it's just me and my dog
Catchin' some sun
We can't go wrong

My life was lonely and blue
Yeah I was sad as a sailor
I was an angry 'un too
Then there was you
Appeared, when I was entangled
With youth, and fear, and nerves
Jingle jangle
Vermouth and beer
Were gettin' me mangled up
But then I looked in your eyes
And I was no more a failure
You looked so wacky and wise

And I said, lord I'm happy'cause I'm just a walkin' my dog
Singin' my song
Strollin' along
It's just me and my dog
Catchin' some sun
We can't go wrong'cause I don't care 'bout your hatin' and your doubt
And I don't care what the politicians spout
If you wanna companion
Well just go right to the pound
And find yourself a hound
And make that doggie proud
'cause that's what it's all about

My life was tragic and sad
Yeah I was the archetypal loser
I was a pageant gone bad
Then there was you on time
And wagging your tail
In the cutest mime
And you was in jail
I said woof, be mine
And you gave a wail
And then I was no longer alone
And I was no more a boozer
We'll make the happiest home

And I said lord I'm happy'cause I'm just a walkin' my dog
Singin' my song
Strollin' along
It's just me and my dog
Catchin' some sun
We can't go wrong
'cause I don't care 'bout your hatin' and your doubt
And I don't care what the politicians spout
If you need a companion
Well just go right to the pound
And find yourself a hound
And make that doggie proud
'cause that's what it's all about
That's what it's all about
That's what it's all abow-wow-wow-wout
That's what it's all about

Pictures of Stanley

I can't get FB to load any images right now, so these are temporarily being displayed here! *grin*

Inner Journey Meditation 12/21/09

I subscribe to a meditation website and I receive daily thoughts... today's seems to speak directly to my situation.... (more to come later) In the mean time, read this and ask yourself how it applies to you.

We can't escape

"Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them." -- Orison Swett Marden

We can’t escape problems and negativity. Escaping just brings denial and suppression - we continue to carry the problem with us. Ironically, it is our lack of acceptance and resistance to the problem that creates the pain. Resistance builds up an energy wall or block that, if not discharged, gets suppressed into the body. These blocks identify places where we have not enough understanding or love.

For health, we must work through what we seek to avoid. How do we do this? We can love parts of ourselves that we don’t like. We can seek the lessons we are being invited to learn through the problem. We can examine our beliefs and seek to see different perspectives and a bigger picture. As our perspectives grow, more of life makes sense and has meaning.

"The Lord is a good psychologist: he knows the way our minds run. Turmoil can be the Lord's way of tapping us on the shoulder and saying, 'Don't forget me.'" -- Eknath Easwaran

http://www.higherawareness.com/

Rather than getting angry anymore, I am praying for the woman downstairs, Joyce. She must be such an unhappy, angry, bitter woman, and it's not fair for anyone to feel those things...

Wednesday Wonders, a day late and a dollar short.

Well, it's more like 8 days late and $400 dollars short! I finally got it all worked out to get my deposit down on the house before January 1st, which means I will get the keys before I anticipated... but I need to put the pet deposit of $400 down if I want Stanley to live with me between Christmas and January 8th... those are my paydays.

I'm not sure what to do with him in the mean time- my mom said that she and Dad would gladly puppy sit, but that would make it really hard for me to leave him somewhere else for 2 whole weeks!!!

I know there's a solution out there, I just wonder what it is... Everything has seemed to be falling into place so incredibly smoothly, I'm not sure what to think!

Anxiety Fills the Air

Stanley has been so full of anxiety since Sunday night, when the last straw started snapping between me and my downstairs neighbor. And so have I.

I have never broken a contract in my life... moving out of the condo now means doing so, and it just doesn't sit right with me. I need re-read my lease, see if I'll be out last month's deposit as well as the move-in deposit, or if I'll just be down my original move-in deposit. *sigh* And it will cost me $2600 to move into the house if the property manager (who I've always called my landlord for all intensive purposes) can negotiate a month-to-month lease for me until I can afford to make it a full $3000 and convert it to a year contract. (that's first month/last month at $1400 plus the $12oo deposit) I'm hoping that a phenominal deal can be negotiated because of all the documented harassment that's been happening.

I'd say that renting sucks, but it would be even worse if I was the homeowner and had this woman below me! Then I'd really be stuck with her, as her landlord doesn't care that she's terrorizing the neighborhood.

It feels better waiting until January to move... I don't feel so rushed, I can be more calculated in decision making and packing, and I can save up the moolah to do it, rather that scraping and pulling from every which way.... I just hope to GOD that the woman downstairs leaves me the hell alone.

This will be a better move, I know it. Stanley will have a yard. I will have a garage, and a full house to do whatever I want in, no worrying about someone below me, no worrying about having friends over and being too loud... I just have to make it another few (3-5) weeks.