Looking Back... a Year in Review

January

Mark Verdugo came to visit me, one of my favorite people!

February

I only worked 5 days this month. I had a pretty major surgery that laid me up for 3 weeks.
Before surgery - After surgery

MUCH LESS BOOBAGE. I think it was about 12 lbs, actually! Rick came and stayed with me after surgery, there's some funny stories there!!! Apparantly I even had him make me eggs! ( I don't eat eggs)

March

TONS of blues parties!!! The first real dances I attended after surgery- I was nervous about dancing, but blues was definately the way to get back into any sort of physical activities.

April

I was selected for a 30 Day Detail to work in the Lynnwood Social Security Office, and absolutely LOVED it! Met wonderful people, and got a taste of face to face interaction with the people I usually only talk to on the phone. This is when I realized I want to be an SSI CR.

May

Tiana came to visit! She is the best lead EVER, and moved back to Hawaii. I'm going to her wedding in June 08. Damn, I miss that woman!

I also reconnected with a cousin who had been estranged from the family for silly, silly reasons. Dori was on the royalty court for Clallam County, and she was in a parade! She has grown to be such a beautiful young woman. I can't wait to watch her persue her dreams!

Now, with this stupid formatting, I've got a bit of extra space here... it's taken me hours to fight with it- no, really, I meant it!!!

June

I played on a summer softball team, and it was so much fun! Mark and Angelica came to visit from the East Coast, and that was so wonderful. I wish they lived so much closer! And... (drumroll please....) DANA MOVED BACK UP FROM VANCOUVER! We signed our lease papers for the condo, aka The Penthouse, as her parents dubbed it.

She's the best roommate EVER!!

July

My grandmother, Nonna, died in my father's arms. She's the one that I moved home to help my parents take care of, my mom's mom. This affected me greatly, as my dad's mom was killed in an accident 2 years ago in January, and I miss my grandmothers very very much. I still feel them with me every step of the way, but there's a little part of me that selfishly misses them here with me, misses hearing them talk, their silly little quirks that made them so perfect in that grandmother sort of way...

Two days after Nonna's funeral, I was was transported to the ER; my heart decided it was time to go into full A-Fib, atrial fibrilation, and was beating around 210 bpm for almost 12 hours! I think I slept for 2 days when I was finally relased from the hospital. It happend again a week later, and I had to be transported again. Luckily the cardiologist said these were lone occurrances and shouldn't ever happen again. I was bummed out that they wouln't let me take all the charts from my heart rates home.

August

I chopped off all my hair! Absolutely loved it, it's fun and sassy... just a pain to keep in place when I go dancing. So, alas, I've decided to grow it out again... because, you know what? It's hair, it grows.


Let's see- what else... Chad finally came out to visit, after a year of emailing, endless phone conversations every day, and planning... he came to visit from New York, said he had a wonderful time, and hasn't talked to me since. Ha. Story of my life!!! (he doesn't get any picture space here!)



I went to my first Seahawks game with my brother Steve, it was very VERY cool.

And then, of course, the beginning of Labor Day Weekend... which means Dana's family cabin with everybody! Our cell phones decided to mingle on the first day...

September

Rick got his new car stuck in a huge ditch- this is a picture of him crawling out of it! Then Dana and I went exploring on the beach with my cameras, more pictures can be seen on my webshots page, and I think they're on myspace too.

We learned that Portland peeps rock at board games, and that Jenny has some weird music, Rick snagged it from her, but iTunes doesn't like my laptop, so I cannot access any of it. We also learned that French people may fall while riding their bikes over railroad tracks in Portland... either that, or the company who made the signage didn't know how to draw a bike helmet.




And then we had a monster brunch at Salty's for all the September birthays. That was a blast!

This is the whole family right now, from left to right- Annie (Steve's gf), Melinda, Stephen, Alissa (Andy's gf), Andy, and Mom and Dad in front.

October

I went to San Francisco by myself, for myself. It was a blast!

Rick and Dana and I went to a grand ball, An Evening In Vienna, and it was absolutely fabulous. Althought, I don't recommend trying to lindy hop in a ball gown- the moves are lost under all the fabric, and you're more likely to tear your skirt... No pictures of me dancing, but I'll get over it.

November

Mark and Angelica came to visit again, and this time I threw them an engagement party. It was a lot of fun to have everyone together again, oh, how I wish they lived in Seattle!


I had another birthday, and treated myself to season tickets to the 5th Ave Theatre. Rick and Dana joined me for the opera Into the Woods, it was wonderful!



This is the beautiful turkey that Dana and I cooked for our friends. It had a broken arm, so Dana covered it, to prevent the wing from burning. We liked the Turkey Salute!


We put up a tree, after Thanksgiving of course, with lights and decorations... usually Italians put a bird in the tree as well... Kaleb was our bird!






Which brings us to... (again, drumroll please)...





December

A white Christmas, to say the least!!! It actually snowed on Christmas Day!!!! And Andy was riding his new bike in it, just like he was 6 years old again.

This brings my summary to a conclusion... I reconnected with many dear friends who were close to my heart growing up, and will remain so. I made some amazing new friends, and cannot wait for what is to come! I do hope you've enjoyed the read, as well as the photographs. Please, take a look at my webshots page!

Take care, and God bless!

A Life is a Life, NO MATTER WHAT.

Last night a man came home to find someone inside their condo, a robbery taking place. The home owner shot and killed the intruder. It's all over the news today, the cameras are outside; I'm avoiding them this time. (last time someone was killed by the place I was living I was interviewed by a few channels)

Yes, it was the second or third home invasion this month, yes, someone did break in and was stealing everything, but no, that does not make it okay to take a life. Now, I know that it could have been a situation where it was self defence, and that's probably why the home owner is not in custody, but two wrongs just don't make a right, a life is a life.

I don't know what scares me more- the fact that there's been so many home invasions and robberies, or the fact that I have a neighbor who carries a gun and is ready to shoot if need be!

At some point in time, the man who died was somebody's pride and joy, their own baby boy, and said their first word, took their first steps, lost their first tooth... somewhere in his life he made a poor choice, that led him to another poor choice, that put him on the wrong path. It doesn't mean that it's any excuse for him breaking and entering, but it doesn't give anyone the right to take his life.

But, then again, I'm pretty pro-life, anti-gun, anti-death penalty. Of course, I'm also anti-violence... I'm praying for the soul of the man who killed, as well as the man who died.

Blind Faith

Wow- so, I will elaborate on this most later, most likely at lunch... since Brian chatted my break away. *wink*

Ok, back to my blog now, at 7pm... make tha 7:30. I don't think I could ever get used to the late shift as a permanent shift!

This morning, in the parking lot of the Supermall, a mom and her daughter- maybe 3 years old- were trotting through the parking lot towards their car, trying not to get too wet. The little girl kept grunting and stumbling as she was running as fast as her little legs could carry her, and her mom- concerned- looked back, stopped and said, "Oh, honey, you can't even see!" The little girl's head was nodding under a cozy fleece hat that was just a tad too big. It had fallen down over her eyes as she started to run next to her mom and just kept running, hand in hand, trusting her mother completely. It was so precious. And then it made me think...

When was the last time I trusted anyone- diety or of-this-earth- enough to put my hand in their's and run blindly? Have I ever trusted anyone that much? At Burn Blue last night I had to concentrate on trusting Orville- of all people!!!- in a counterbalance exercise, and that's dancing with a lead who I would trust to never drop me, but for the longest time I couldn't NOT take a step back in anticipation of needing to catch myself. I'm sure I trusted my parents when I was young, but I haven't felt that secure- even in myself- for a very long time. And again, that made me think...

How hard must it have been for my grandmother, in her last stages of life, to put her faith in my parents and myself? With dimentia she saw white floor as a black hole and yet she followed us hand-in-hand on the white colored floor in kitchen, she trusted us to sit her on the white toilet, to put her in the white shower... granted, it was a struggle sometimes, and she yelled as she did it, but she did it. She knew that we loved her and would never hurt her and she put her trust in us.

She put her trust in God that very same way. Looking back on her life, it was enough to break ANYONE. So many times it looked like she was staring a black hole in the face, and yet she put her hand in God's, closed her eyes, and trusted Him to take care of her.

I was there once, a long time ago. I remember the first time I felt that I couldn't trust that blind faith... it scared me, and I vowed to never doubt in God's existence again, but I never recovered, I have never been able to completely let go and put my faith back in God blindly. I always peek, I always hold just a little bit back, even if it only gives me the illusion of control.

Oh, to be so innocent again, to be able to put your hand in the one you trust, close your eyes, and take those first steps, get past the fear, and even jog if you have to, knowing the entire time that you were perfectly safe...

Words to Remember...

This is an exerpt from the coolest book I ever found on the $1 rack at Waldens... it's called Chasing Away the Clouds, by Douglas Pagals, and it's a book of blessings and words of wisdom, mixed in with little prayers, written as if God, Father, Son, and Spirit said them directly to you. What I like the best about this book, aside from the fact that I can always seem to find something in this little 1/2 inch-thick book, is that it never actually imposes any one belief system upon the reader- you can find comfort in it no matter what Faith you choose, IF you choose!

Tonight, this is the one that really speaks to my heart.

"Words to Remember"
I can barely begin to tell you of all my wishes for you. There are so many of them, and I want them all to come true. I want you to use your heart as a compass as you find your way in the world. I want to wish you peace of mind and a peaceful home. I want you to be self-reliant, self-motivated, and self-sufficient but to know that you'll never be alone. I want you to be safe and smart and cautious. I want you to be wise beyond your years. I want you to discover your innermost courage. I want you to overcome your fears.

Nothing has taken away from this truth: You are a very special someone. You are a wonderful, rare person with no comparison. I want you to know that opportunities will come, and you'll have many goals to achieve. Andthe more that obstacles get in the way of your dreams, the more you'll need to believe.

Get your feet wet with new experiences, but be sure you never get in over your head. Try to realize how capable you are, and that your possibilities are unlimited. Never give in to negative thinking; it saps your energy for so many other things. And keep responding in a positive way to the challenges life always brings. I pray that you won't rush the future, and that you'll build on the constructive parts of the past.

When you do the things you do with love, you give life a gleam that most people only carry a glimpse of.

"You Shouldn't Mix Fairy Tales With Liverworst and Buttermilk" Rosemary Clooney, White Christmas

I'm thinking that this is my new quote-theme for life. My fairytales always seem to get mixed in with a harsh and sometimes rancid reality.

It's the time of year when everyone's getting close and keepin' warm, hot toddies and hot tootsies, cuddles and kisses, mistletoe and gifts. And then there's me.

Somehow I feel like I got stuck with the liverworst and buttermilk in life.

Let the Weddings Begin!

Mother-of-Pearl, I'm going to a lot of weddings this year.

Kristen & Jered today, Jason and Margaret in January, Angelica and Mark in April, Tiana and Christopher in June, and I think Jay mentioned something about a wedding in August? I think I need to start working one or two more jobs just to afford it all! I mean, today the wedding is in Mount Vernon- not too bad. January's is local too. April, I'll be traveling to Boston, and in June I'll be traveling to Hawaii! I've jokingly said that those two couples aren't getting anything off their registry, I'll tie a bow around myself and call it good!

I'd like to take a page from Carrie Bradshaw's theories and throw myself a non-bridal shower. Why can't I have a party for myself for being single and surviving? SARK says it too, in one of her books, marry yourself, promise to honor and love yourself no matter what, through thick and thin, and make that vow to YOU. And that's all well and good, but what if I want people to share in that idea, that concept, that I'm celebrating me being true to my SELF? I would hope that people can celebrate in that every day, just by knowing me, but you never know.

Anyhoo, I had better get up and start my day, so I'm ready to make the treck up to Mt Vernon when the time comes.

Something to Blog About

The holidays are upon us again, and I've got some things that are rattling around in my brain. I found out today that I have an advocate at PLU, a new position that was created, The Dean of Academic Success, and her job is to help the students be academicaly successful. Now all I have to do is talk to them.

That's the hard part.


But on to other topics... my mom is really depressed, this is the first year without her mother, my Nonna, and it is very hard, on all of us. My brothers came home yesterday and helped to decorate, we had sooo much fun! And then they showed me all the gifts they got their girlfriends, and it took the fun right out of the day. I'm not jealous, just sad that I don't have someone to buy things for me, get so excited because they found the perfect purse to go with my favorite outfit, or to buy me a new pair of shoes that they know I would love because they just know me that well. And then, to add insult to injury, Andy keeps asking me for my real gift wish list, because the one I gave my family is lame. Mom explained that the boys want something fun to get me, not the stuff I put on my list. The thing is, I thought my list WAS fun. I like cook books and flower vases and flavored coffee and shopping at Target. I can't tell them what "Fun Things" to get me because those are the things that someone would know when they KNOW me...

*shrug*

What can I say. I'm lame that way, I guess. And maybe I'm not, but sometimes I sure do feel that way. Funny, who the slightest word from a loved one can be taken out of context or not in the way they ment for it to be taken, and send a person reeling...