Feeling Numb

Congenial Insensitivity to pain is a very sad disorder, the body feels no physical pain.

I wish I had Congenial Insensitivity to emotional pain.

Last night I had an incredibly and terribly intense, very real dream about David, and while I was the strong one and he was the one who's soul was shattered, I could feel it, and it broke my heart, all over again. Three times in 12 months.

I don't understand why he keeps haunting me, why I can't just move on. It was more than a dream, it was too real to be just my subconcious processing things; it felt prophetic- and it's so weird to say that, since I don't think I've EVER really said something like that and been 100% serious about it!

Maybe it will be one of those de ja vu moments, and the dream is preparing me for the real thing so I will be able to be the strong one. I kinda just want to throw my hands up in the air and give up on the whole "feeling" bit, but I know me, and that wouldn't ever happen.