*sigh*

My Horoscope:

Scorpio
The Moon's return to your sign isn't always an easy process, for you feel even more strongly, which can be overwhelming to those close to you. But it's probably even harder work to hide your emotions and you don't have enough energy to even attempt to do that now. It can be an intensely charged afternoon when secrets are shared and intimacy can be achieved if you are willing to show your vulnerability.

Ha! If you could read the pages in my journal, the last 4 are all about my emotions and not having strength and energy to keep them in check, and how intensely charged I'm feeling by keeping everything bottled up inside, but I can't afford to show vulnerability!!! And that was before I read my horoscope! I always say I don't really believe in the stars having answers, and I usually only read it for entertainment purposes, but then there's times like this when it reaffirms the subject in which I've just finished conversing with myself over.

I debated on whether or not to post this on my regular journal or my inspirational journal, so it's here by default for now, and may migrate later...

Maybe God uses those horoscopes when we need a good knock upside the head?

Lately I've been battling my Self. This is nothing new, to any of you who actually read my blogs. Am I good enough at this, am I pretty enough or skinny enough to be loved, or is loving simply good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I skinny enough? Do I deserve to be loved? Do I deserve to have such wonderful things happen to me? Do I deserve to have gifts and talents given to me from God that just lie in wait, hoping that I'll dig deep and pull them back up from the depths to which I'd banished them?

I need to start believing that I am. There's a phrase from SARK's books ~ I have enough ~ I do enough ~ I AM ENOUGH. Somehow I need to get myself to believe this. It's been my mantra, but it always makes me feel more indignant and full of sarcasm than it does bring comfort.

Anyways- as my horoscope says, I will have a problem maintaining control of my emotions if I let myself get too vulnerable... this is all the brain dump you get for right now...