I've Come to Realize...

that I am happy.

It hit me last night, as I was looking around my clean living room, wondering what I wanted next. And you know how easy it was to answer that? I want a chase lounge in my living room. And the little white IKEA daybed for a guest bed, and a cute little desk for my office, and a keyboard stand and guitar stand, and then... a dog... Maybe.

No crying myself to sleep, no feeling sorry for myself because I'm turning 30 and am still single. No being depressed because David crushed my soul, or because I'm still a little heavier than I'd like to be.

I'm happy.

I think the last time I was THIS happy was freshman year of college, after I found out how wonderful PLU was and before I started failing biology. The world feels like it's mine, all mine! I absolutely love my job, as busy as it keeps me and as much of a headache as it causes to feel so scattered compared to how organized I usually am. I really enjoy the people I work with, I like my supervisors, I feel like I'm more than just a number on the phones... and I've been getting to put people into pay!

Not to be all Pollyanna or anything, but yeah- life is good.

My friends are absolutely beautiful, and I finally feel like I deserve to have them! (man, depression is sure a scary and manipulative beast) I no longer want to run away from my life!!