Finding that Silver Lining

Monday I had a very scary experience-- I went into anaphylactic shock after indirect exposure to cat dander!  This is THE MOST severe reaction I have ever had, and boy- let me tell you... NOT FUN.  The most important thing to remember when you're, well, me- do not drive yourself to the hospital.  If multiple people offer to take you to the ER when you can't breathe and can hardly speak, SAY YES. 

Over $200 in medical expenses and copays later, I send an email to the beloved choir members of mine, letting them know that my reactions to their kitty cats is getting more and more severe. 

Tuesday night I got to choir, wary of what may happen... unfortunately, about 2/3 of the people in my choir have cats, and exposure to the dander was unavoidable.  Luckily I had the zyrtec in my purse and, per doctor's orders, took a double dose asap.  This kept the swelling of the airways down to a minimum.  I slept with my epi pin in one hand and my inhaler in the other, still weezing with every breath hours after the exposure.  While I tried to stay calm and think about anything but having to stab myself with the pin, I realized that I can't risk this happening every week.... at this point in time, I would need to no longer participate in Sonoro.  This realization absolutely broke my heart... I slept on it, hoping that a better solution would present itself, but I just couldn't see one.  After officially resigning from the choir, I feel like I'm now trying to recover from a breakup.

Wednesday, after tearing my heart in two, I thought "Well, at least I will still have dance until I find a choir I'm not allergic to----" and then I realized just how many of my dancer friends have cats.  This really got me feeling absolutely terrible.  I lose choir and dancing in the same week?!  Because my body decided that cat dander is a deadly threat?!  REALLY?!?!

It's Thursday now.  I know that things could be worse- for the most part, I still have my health.  My family members are safe.  My friends are healthy.  *sigh*  It doesn't make the loss of two musical, creative parts of me any easier to acknowledge.

As Friday approaches, I am going to focus on my independent talents- guitar, piano, and drawing.  I'm trying to find that silver lining in this situtation, and I think I have.  I will now have time to actually read the 20-some books I have on my list.  Maybe I'll actually get to start writing more... Maybe I'll actually master those barre chords. *half grin*

Please, say a prayer that my body stops being so stupid.