Misc. Musings

Oh my gosh, Blogger is actually working right now! Trying to run it on an older version of Internet Explorer is no good, hence the horrible formatting - or LACK of formatting - in my last few blogs!

I'm reforming Melinda. New hair style (as of August 3rd, stay tuned!), new make up (Caron & Marina are benefiting from the windfall of MAC cosmetics being purged!), and new clothes, only when I am definitely down a whole clothing size. Right now my clothes are either too big or too small, which is always frustrating.

Day by day, things are feeling a little more normal than not. I don't think Stanley is totally sure I'm really home again - Mom says Stanley thinks I'm a mirage. LOL. Sometimes I feel like I'm a shadow of myself, is that the same thing? My room, mom's living room, and right now both Stephen & Andy's rooms are a complete mess... trying to get rid of things and unpack at the same time is NOT recommended!

JJ is making it easier and easier to stand behind my decision, with the things he's saying.  I don't think he really, truly loved me, not the way I deserve to be loved!  The man who loves & deserves me will NEVER speak to me the way he is right now, tell you what.

I don't want to push my luck with the formatting issue, so I won't include any pictures, but I do have some to share - maybe tomorrow night, someone remind me? *wink*grin*  Hmmm, what else... thinking of taking a vacation to an undetermined location sometime between November and February, just a get-away from all of this.  Any suggestions?  And no humid locations, like Hawaii - no. No desire to go there.  Can we say curly hair-POOF?!

Ram Daas

"Healing does not mean going back to the way things were but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God."

... and on the 10th day ...

I am down 13 pounds, I've only washed one load of laundry, and still need to deep clean the apartment before turning in the keys. My parents have been amazingly supportive, as parents should be, and will help me with the "lease buy out" money, to be paid back asap. Oh, the stress of breaking up. Love lost. I don't have any funny words of wisdom right now, only that I realized last night that he loved me the best way he knew how.... sadly, that wasn't good enough for what I deserve. I will never be in an abusive relationship, no matter how much I love that person, they love me, or how much they say they're sorry after-the-fact. Proverbs 31:25 is still my inspiration & motivation. "She is clothed with strength & dignity and she laughs without fear of the future." I think this needs to be my first tattoo, if I ever get up the courage to get one.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do.

The End.